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    Dad's a f*****g Hypocrite

    Naiwen Apr 30, 2012

    1. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      So yeah, my Dad's a such hypocrite. He told me not to yell, not to get stressed and scream at the top of my lungs or throw stuff on the floor when angry, but he does it all the time, like right now, hes yelling at my mum and talking very rashly to her, and yet hes forbidden me to use this tone. Hes not setting a good example by doing so. Hes not very reasonnable either, as he throws tamper tantrums every now and then for little things. Damn, I abhor my Dad and everything. And hes used this tone with me ever since I was a little kid.
       
    2. Shortie861

      Shortie861 Administrator Staff Member

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      That does seem pretty harsh Naiwen and I do agree with you it does make him a hypocrite. It's one rule for you and your mother and another for him which isn't fair, it should be all equal.

      I hope things get sorted for you soon :)
       
    3. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      whenever hes furious or something, he'd throw something at the tv or the windows or break some furniture and etc... and he'd tell to "not do the same thing", pure bs...
       
    4. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      sounds like he needs anger management to me
       
    5. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      that he sure as hell does... and I hate him because he won't admit he has any issues...
       
    6. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      well lets hope he never goes too far eh
       
    7. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      already taken it too far, hes been hitting me to punish me and etc...
       
    8. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      ouch,i dont believe in violence toward our offspring
      if he ever goes to far i would tell you to get some advice,from some professional people
       
    9. Frog Jamas

      Frog Jamas Chat Addict

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      "Do as I say, not as I do." :headbang:
       
    10. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      also has been throwing stuff around and breaking it on my head and etc.... I mean, its not right what he does, but yeah, gotta endure him... or put up with him.
       
    11. APS

      APS Administrator Staff Member

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      You don't have to endure it or put up with it.
       
    12. Shortie861

      Shortie861 Administrator Staff Member

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      I agree, you don't have to put up with it he definitely shouldn't be treating you like that whether he is your father or not hun.

      Is there anyone you can speak to in confidence who may be able to help you with what is happening?
       
    13. fiona1964

      fiona1964 Chataholic

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      Can you speak to the social workers or some one like that
       
    14. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      Tried to, but couldn't... and due to the fact that my mum doesn't want me to. She fears that shes going to lose him and etc, which in my view, won't be a great loss...
       
    15. Demon_skeith

      Demon_skeith Chataholic

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      It could be he forbids you so you don't end up being like him. Like a smoker telling people not to smoke but continues to do so.
       
    16. Domestic Goddess

      Domestic Goddess Regular Chatter

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      Naiwen, I don't know how old you are, but believe it or not I can sympathise with you on this, as my father was a hypocrite in so many ways, and he liked to be a bully, use me as a his punching bag, and did so from the time I was about 10 yrs til I was 18 yrs of age. That's when I told my father, when I was 18... "If you hit me, I'm going to hit you back!". After that, my father never did lay a hand on me then, but I still had to endure his verbal abuse, and even more so after I told him not to hit me.

      Your father definitely is not setting a good example for you. And he should practice what he preaches. It does sound like your father has some issues, and perhaps should seek some sort of help, but some people just don't realize or see that they do need "help". I agree with wiseguy... it sounds like your father needs anger management.

      Naiwen, what does bother me... is your mother, and for her allowing this to happen, and that she allows your father to hit you. I don't know your mother, but I'm getting the sense she is afraid of your father, and doesn't know what to do, or how to handle your father when he goes off. If it was me... I would seek help, especially when there are sources out there to hopefully help your family.

      Back in the 60's & 70's, there was no one I could call for help, so it was all swept under the rug (so to speak), and I had no one to talk to about what was happening in our home. I was always taught we should respect our elders, and my father always told my sisters and I... "Children should be seen and not heard!" Gawd, I hated it whenever I heard my father say that!! I also think my father knew he could get by doing with what he did, cause he knew we would never tell anyone, as there was no one we could convide in or talk to about it (social services, etc...). But like Aps stated... "You don't have to endure it or put up with it". Naiwen, I cannot tell you what to do, but have you ever thought about turning your father in for child abuse? I pray there is someone you can convide in and can talk to. Do you have other relatives who live close by, or close friends that you could talk to, and perhaps stay with when your father is acting this way?
       
    17. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      nice post DG:angel::angel:
       
    18. Domestic Goddess

      Domestic Goddess Regular Chatter

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      wiseguy, I can't speak for Naiwen, but when things like this happens in your family, it stays with you. I am 56, but it still haunts me, and I'ver never gotten over it, even after all these years. If there was someone I could of convided in or talked to, I think it could of done me a world of good. My husband and daughters know what my childhood was like, but I think my oldest daughter was the only one who really understands the whole situation, and can sympathize. My 2nd oldest sister once told my daughter... "I need to get over it!" Funny how my sister could say that, when it wasn't our dad who was abusing her, and my mother wouldn't allow my dad to do that to her. She was mom's favorite, while my 3rd oldest sister was dad's favorite, and my oldest sister wasn't right in her mind, so my parents felt sorry for her, so neither of them got the wrath of our father's hand, but me and my oldest stepbrother, who by the way, ran away from home at the age of 14.
       
    19. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      sorry to hear all this love ive never been through it even though my dad was a hard working big drinking miner he was gentle with us
      weve never laid a hand on our 2 boys,
      i knew people at school but like you say in those days it was all behind closed doors
       
    20. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      Thanks for the advice here, but yeah, but mother's afraid and even frightened of him and lets him hit her and sexually abuse her and etc... I can hear it and its awful... She just tolerates him and lets him go at each turn he does this. I think shes so helpless when it comes to this as I am.