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    Extramarital Affairs

    Naiwen May 13, 2012

    1. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      I know some people have a lot of extramarital affairs, not only wealthy businessmen and stars and etc. I know its wrong and immoral and even despicable, but yeah, it occurs and takes place a lot, not only in rich families but also within the poorer ones. Would you go for it or not? I wouldn't because highly against it myself.... I know some men and women love it and find it very thrilling and exciting. And its costly and expensive too. But yeah, this could lead to the wife and the family's murder and killing.
       
    2. APS

      APS Administrator Staff Member

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      Unanswerable question until the situation presents itself.
      My thoughts right now are NO but who can tell what would happen in the future.
       
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    3. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      had loads :giggle:
       
    4. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      lol wiseguy... very funny, not... XDD plus a very direct and crude and blunt way to answer it... XDD So I now know that you're not going to be a loyal and faithful husband or boyfriend either.
       
    5. trewqaz

      trewqaz New Chatter

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      I really don't think that I would ever be unfaithful to my husband. Having watched others' marriages and families disintegrate under the pressure of an extramarital affair, I've always sworn that if I were so unhappy in my marriage to even begin to consider it that I would talk to my husband about counselling and would surely pursue a divorce first.

      At the same time, I've seen a lot of otherwise really good, really honest, really moral people who somehow became involved in an affair. Even though my natural tendency is to want to throw stones, I guess I just have to wonder what sort of awful circumstances that otherwise good people fall into that make them betray their most fundamental oaths.

      I really don't think I could ever look my kids in the eye and say that mommy and daddy aren't going to live together anymore because mommy's been kissing other men. That's probably the biggest deterrent for me. Motherly love should be purer than that plain and simple.

      At the end of the day, there but for the grace of God go I.
       
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    6. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      But the question is though, do you love your hubby? Are you happy with him?
       
    7. trewqaz

      trewqaz New Chatter

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      I love my husband. We've been together for a long time and I'll always love him. Even if we got to the point where we didn't like each other anymore and got divorced, we share children, we share years of memories and I will always love him. But love isn't a magic fix for every problem in any kind of relationship whether it be between spouses, parents and children or even friends. I can love someone and still let them down; they can love me and still do the same.

      On the whole, I would say we have a happy marriage. We still enjoy spending time together. We still dream big together. We love our kids and run ourselves ragged chasing them around together. But there are problems. My husband loves to spend more money than we have; I tend to miser over every penny. There are times when work and family responsibilities mean that we literally do not even see each other for days at a time. That's not easy on a marriage. We fight over how to best parent our kids, over where to live, over what to watch on tv. It happens.

      I don't see myself ever cheating on my husband. My husband once cheated on me. It was a horrible period of time in my life; the first and only time I ever really thought I could kill someone. We went to counseling and changed a lot of the ways that we communicate. My husband was wrong, but at that time I wasn't being the best wife and mother that I could be either. His unfaithfulness wasn't my fault, but continuing to be married was a choice I made and making it work is a choice we've made together.

      Although much of the trust I had in my husband, and honestly a lot of the respect I had for him, evaporated the day that I found out and in the subsequent months when the details all began to leak out, I've seen him work hard to rebuild that trust and that respect. He's a better man now than he was when I first married him. It's been a long and winding road, but I think we will make it.
       
    8. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      Must have been horribly nasty or awful for your eh? I'm sorry to hear that... I despise cheaters... I take pity on you or sympathize with you. But really like that you've got over it or overcame it... many wives would have held a grudge against their hubby for it.
       
    9. Kaynil

      Kaynil Quiet Chatter

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      I pretty much like trew's answer not so black and white. it is like APS said, we can talk a lot about how loyal we are and how we think it is immoral and we wouldn't do it but that kind of situation doesn't come the way we have it in our head unless we're the one pursuing it, and we already made clear we have no intention of that.

      Many mistakes comes from letting yourself go and not being able to think clearly. People having a house but not feeling home will feel more tempted to search for something, even if they don't they will find harder to resist to someone making him/her feel they are worth again.

      I want to think I have things in control and that I love my partner very much. I will do my best to be faithful and so far it hasn't even been a chore or something to sweat, we both feel confident on each other feelings and can even joke about it. So no, I'd like to think I wouldn't go. Not willingly acknowledging it. I can't keep that kind of thing secret to my dear one and that is enough deterrent for me, aside my own beliefs about how I should go about this.
       
    10. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      I hope not in fact... for you at least.
       
    11. Kaynil

      Kaynil Quiet Chatter

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      So do I, Naiwen. Thanks.
       
    12. Spice

      Spice Chat Addict

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      There are a variety of reasons someone in a relationship has an extramarital affair. For some having one may be the only way out a relationship.
       
    13. Black Angel

      Black Angel New Chatter

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      Nope. If you can't keep your legs closed or keep it in your pants then why would you waste someone else's time by marrying them?

      Short of a gun to your head, there is no justification for an affair, and even in that case, that wouldn't be an affair so much as rape. And really, where bad personality traits are concerned, there are always red flags that come up, and manifest themselves in the relationship, and even in the person, its just that people get so caught up in what they want out of a marriage or of the other person, that they ignore those signs and gut feelings where that person is concerned. We have instincts just like animals do, its just that while they have no choice but to follow theirs for survival, we tend to ignore ours thinking that we know better, which only leads to our own heartache and destruction.

      Kind of like dumb chicks caterwauling after bad boys, and then turning around and being genuinely surprised that he was an a hole, some of these chicks go on to marry him anyway thinking that "her love will fix him" LOL or worse, go on to have kids with him and are actually shocked that his behavior got worse or was directed at the kids.. People are just so quick to use any and every excuse to justify screwing someone else, when the truth of the matter is, that's what they really wanted to do all along, they just didn't have the balls to be up front about it.

      What's even sadder is that often times you have the good people in these situations that were faithful, somehow assigning the blame to themselves for their partners indiscretion. When in all truth, the only thing that the faithful person can be blamed for is choosing an a hole of a spouse to begin with and then taking them back after the affair when they could've worked on their self esteem and found themselves a real man or woman who would be faithful, instead of the little boy or girl they married before.

      I was there once, and I almost blamed myself, even as I sat there getting blood drawn for an H.I.V/A.I.D.S. test, and had to sit through a partial lecture on sexual responsibility before I spoke up and told the Dr. why I was getting tested, and they apologized, but then I realized that I'm not the one who cheated, he was and so the blame lies with him since he was the a hole. I already knew that I wouldn't take him back, but the uncertainty and fear of having an STD/STI from him over this situation, burned in my head that this fear would always be my reality if I ever took him back, especially since his mother did the same where is father was concerned and she ended up losing her life. She actually thought another kid would save their marriage, and so she didn't protect herself.

      Bottomline is that if your vows were not for better or for worse, til death do you part, but rather, until someone better, "bigger" or richer comes along, or you become bored, then perhaps marriage isn't for you.

      There are way too many people out there who think that this is a game and will only marry a person because they want something from them and for these people once they realize that its not what they want, or things didn't work out as they hoped, they are ready to bail and jump ship to the next person dumb enough to screw them.
       
    14. KyngzIndeyen

      KyngzIndeyen Regular Chatter

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      Not something I'd ever even consider doing without my spouse's knowledge or consent.

      (That is, if I even get married to begin with, which I find pretty unlikely :p !)
       
    15. bilbo1152

      bilbo1152 New Chatter

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      Not me there too much to lose my X wife had an affair with my best friend she a drug user and don't know were he is
       
    16. Maddie

      Maddie Getting There

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      I've never understood why some people would have an affair. If you are that unhappy in your relationship with your spouse, why don't you consider going to counseling or getting a divorce?

      I personally wouldn't do it because I know my conscience would eat me alive if I did.
       
    17. bilbo1152

      bilbo1152 New Chatter

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      No way if I did not love my wife I'd get a divorce first it happen to me and that is no way to treat someone
       
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    18. Christavia

      Christavia New Chatter

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      I am against it and has always said I would never do it. Until few months ago I was in a predicament and I met a married man, he however told me that he was separated from the wife but they weren't. After getting involved I found out he lied and broke it off with him. I did not take any monetary things from him so it wasn't about money and now he is threatening me because I told him to work things out with his wife and stop hurting her. She is a very nice person and I regret what I did but I just really didn't know the truth.