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    Many 'tough' men suppress a caring urge

    wiseguy Apr 8, 2012

    1. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      An Auckland woman researching the behaviour of abusive men has found many of them want to love and care for their wives and partners but suppress the desire in order to look "tough" in front of other men.
      Dr Clare Murphy, a counsellor and life coach, interviewed 16 men in stopping-violence programmes for her doctoral thesis about their childhoods, adult relationships and "their sense of the way the world works"
      do you think this is the case,
      and i dont believe interviewing 16 violent men is enough for christ sake
       
    2. magicmagick.com

      magicmagick.com Getting There

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      of course, the abusers are not the EVIL of the world.
      they are just Fup.

      not a surprise really.
       
    3. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      so whose the evil of the world?
       
    4. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      I don't believe so because some of them "tough" men, will still be soft from time to time.
       
    5. Shortie861

      Shortie861 Administrator Staff Member

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      I don't think you can get anything sufficient from just 16 men to be honest, interviewing maybe 100 or more violent men would have probably given a more accurate reason why they do it.
       
    6. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      yep, far from enough even, for a study to be reliable, you should at least interview 30 people or more...
       
    7. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      so would you give a man a 2nd chance if he had hit you?
      to me men who hit women are cowards
       
      Shortie861 likes this.
    8. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      depends on how hard he hit me... if its hard to the point of sending me to the hospital, then no. But yeah, my dad hits me all the time, and I have forgiven him and gave him second chances many times.
       
    9. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

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      i dont agree with parent hitting their children either,weve never layed a finger on our 2
      [​IMG]
      and dont be misled if a man hits you once ,trust me if he gets off with it he will do it again,and harder
       
    10. APS

      APS Administrator Staff Member

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      Don't understand why you would give a man who hit you a 2nd chance,if he gets away with it the first time he'll just do it again.
       
    11. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

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      because hes my dad, so yeah, and my mum absolutely forbade me to call the police or get a restraining orer on him.
       
    12. fiona1964

      fiona1964 Chataholic

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      I was never hit by my dad and I would never hit my children
      As Wiseguy said any man who hits a woman is a coward
      If any man hit me I would never forgive him and I would call the police and have him charged

      I also agree interviewing 16 men is not sufficient she should have interviewed a lot more
       
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    13. magicmagick.com

      magicmagick.com Getting There

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      what if a woman hits man and insults him?
      is he allowed to defend, act in self - defense?
       
    14. Shortie861

      Shortie861 Administrator Staff Member

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      I would say that any guy who is hit by a woman would do his very best to calm her down first and find out the problem rather than hit back, or atleast a MAN would.

      I understand that men do get abused aswell as women but any guy that is being abused and hit by a woman would be better off going and speaking to police or someone they trust rather than hitting back.
       
    15. magicmagick.com

      magicmagick.com Getting There

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      I agree completely.
      but we cannot always control ourselves, especially in the situations where we are threatened, endangered or/and heavily insulted.
      just saying.

      all this seems very easy and clear "on the paper" but I believe it's much different in a reality-
       
    16. Grungie

      Grungie Raging Alcoholic

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      Well there is a difference between parents spanking you, and a boyfriend/husband who beats you.
       
    17. APS

      APS Administrator Staff Member

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      Heavily insulted won't harm you and if a women does start hitting you,you always have the option to be a man and just walk away.
       
    18. JakeM

      JakeM New Chatter

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      This made me lol. Lol.