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    some real s**t.

    TheKappin Nov 8, 2011

    1. TheKappin

      TheKappin New Chatter

      so ok, i have a story, just as every member on here does. we all have our stories of our past shortcomings and fall outs. the reason i am writing this is because of a series of unfortunate events that have unfolded in my past recent 18 months of my life. before i begin i would like to disclose a few things with you so you can understand the exact nature of were i am coming from in this post.

      a few details -
      i am 21 years old.
      i live with a friend at his house with his family.
      i have no person i can depend on besides myself.
      i have a very finely tuned sense of survival. i value my pride and honor of my word more than anything in the world.

      firstly, i have never before told this story to any friend or family member. i feel as though they would thing "weak" or "gay" of me.

      secondly, i come from a broken home. i have a heroin addict father who left my family when i was 6, i have supported my little brother and sister my entire life (mainly throughout the time i was 14-18 i worked 40 hours a week while going to school so i could pay the bills of the house while my mom went to nursing school)

      lastly, i am a good person. i have f****d up a lot throughout my life, did things i do not regret, but look down upon myself for doing. but at heart, i am a good person.

      how my tale unfolds-
      part 1- kim

      when i was a sophomore in highschool, i fell in love. i had met what i had thought was the girl of my dreams. i could only see her in school as i did not have any pleasures in life such as my own car, or spare money to spend. i approached her and we became friends. i blew off friends, parties and plans to stay at home and talk on the phone with her day in and day out. i told her how i felt about her. i told her i loved her and wanted to be with her and would promise her the world. she denied me every time i asked her out saying she was scared and didnt want to ruin our friendship if anything happened. i re-assured her constantly that nothin would come between us. after a year i gave up. i still continued to call her and listen to her talk about other guys, other plans and other things not involving me in her life. i gave up. i kept in contact with her throughout my travels in life, still talking at least once a week. recently, after 6 years in our friendship she is now telling me how much she has f****d up and how she compares every guy she meets to me and cannot find anyone like me, she tells me she loves me and she wants to be with me now. i tell her i love her, and i understand.

      part 2 - tara

      i met tara a year ago on the fourth of july. it was a t a barbaque in a park i was invited to with my best friend and his girlfriends family. i became infatuated with her. she was beautiful, smart, and strong willed. we became best friends the moment we introduced ourselves to eachother. every night we were together. her dad let me stay at her house every night and i became as his old italian a** used to say his "luca bratzzi in his family" (anyone familiar with godfather remembers luca bratzzi) i was honored. he was an old man and trusted me. i stayed up every night playing skip-bo and checkers with her. we were up till at least 5 am every morning. i had stopped drinking down to only on weekends, and completely given up on other drugs outside of recreational use of marijuana. i was in love. finally in september i got the balls to ask her out. she said yes. i was filled with happiness. we dated for 2 weeks and she randomly broke up with me sayin it was like dating her brother. i was heart-broken but respected her wishes hoping she would change her thoughts with time. three days later she was dating a kid i loathed. scum. i was so hurt i left her, and stopped talkin to her. he made her stop talking to me completely and isolated me out of her life.

      part 3 texas

      in an attempt to run from my pain, i moved to texas to start my life over. i quickly got a "dream job" makin excellent money and excelling quickly.my life was great. partying responsibly, fast woman, cars, and life. 10 months later i got a message on facebook. it was tara. it was a huge letter of apology. she had split with the scum and wanted me to talk to her again. i was floored. i instantly was overcome with emotions i had previously. we talked on the phone two times. the second time she told me two things that made my heart stop. she said "i love you" and "please come back home". the next day i threw my life away. i sold my car, my heavy belongings, and bought a one way plane ticket back to ohio.

      part 4 ohio

      i returned to ohio and tara picked me up from the airport. we spent three weeks together and then she was gone. she ignored me for a week until i found out she was back with the scum. she called me a month later and told me her dad had passed away and asked if i would go to the funeral with her. i was honored, hurt, confused and humiliated. i went. the whole time she was hugging me crying and i loathed all connection with her. she had hurt me. after the funeral to this day, i still have no contact with her.

      part 5 the big finale

      so now, i work a shitty job, i have no car, live with my friend and his family, i make little to no money workin in excess of 60 hours a week. i drink almost daily, smoke every night, pop pills every here and again, the girl i used to love (kim) calls me constantly, actually she called 2 times while i was writing this lol. you see i love music. i have been listening to drake - marvins room and drake - take a shot for me (just downloaded the new Take Care album and i love it!!!) i dont really know why i wrote this, i guess i just needed to vent. but my question is simple. does everything in life really happen for a reason?
    2. RJH

      RJH Getting There

      Wow, get a gun if I was you :p (joke)
    3. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

      Cool story bro? Though I do feel pity for you. This is the outcome when you become infatuated with a girl and when she doesn't return your feelings.
    4. TheKappin

      TheKappin New Chatter

      yea unfortunately it is something i have to accept. but i guess what doesnt kill you makes you stronger right? lol.

    5. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

      Well, what else did you want others to say?
    6. nolvorite

      nolvorite New Chatter

      I feel sorry for you D=

      Maybe she just wasn't the right one for you lol
    7. Smokey

      Smokey Shortie's Teddy Bear <3 Staff Member

      Uhhh chalk it up to past mistakes and move on? I'm really at a loss for words here though at the same time I take pity on you, you kinda put yourself where you are now.....so I can't say I feel sorry for you to an extent.
    8. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

      I think this is pretty much moot to debate? XD Since everyone seems to repeat the same thing over and over?