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    Thoughts for the day

    APS Mar 1, 2012

    1. APS

      APS Administrator Staff Member

      1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought
      he was God and I didn't.

      2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

      3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

      4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

      5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

      6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

      7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

      8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

      9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

      10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

      11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

      12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
      why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

      13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

      14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

      15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

      16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

      17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

      18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

      19.. Procrastinate Now!

      20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

      21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

      22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

      23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

      24..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

      25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

      26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
      times the memory.

      27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

      28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

      29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

      30.. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on.

      Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for!
    2. Naiwen

      Naiwen Chat Addict

      lol, so very true, and still, it cracked me up.
    3. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

      a wiseguys strange thought

      What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why
      Shortie861 likes this.
    4. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

      A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects. :headbang:
    5. Shortie861

      Shortie861 Administrator Staff Member

      :lol: really liking these wiseguy :)
    6. wiseguy

      wiseguy Chataholic

      A very wise man once said:

      "You should treat your woman like your vacuum cleaner, when she stops
      sucking, replace the bag.:giggle:
    7. Shortie861

      Shortie861 Administrator Staff Member

      Oh dear :lol: I really shouldn't have laughed at that one but I did :haha: