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    1. jnugget

      jnugget Regular Chatter

      Joined:
      Aug 27, 2012
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      eyes getting heavy
      why wont they close
      aching never ending
      getting sleepy now

      why do i keep waking
      im so tired
      mind never shutting down
      will i sleep soon

      the broken sleep
      tired more than before
      weights on my eyes
      please let me sleep
       
    2. sharon

      sharon New Chatter

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      I cannot emphasize how many times I've felt this way. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this poem. Thank you for sharing it.

      For improvements (if you're looking for it) I would suggest editing the poem and add more punctuation and capitalization. It's not so much about following "rules" it's about presenting your poem where a reader can be prompted on how to read the poem, where to pause, etc.
       
    3. jnugget

      jnugget Regular Chatter

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      im dont realy write them to sound good i do them to clear my mind but if you like ill take more care with the next ones so you know where to pause etc